Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Oh for pitty's sake...

SO I wrote about abuse, changes, and so forth back in March and how I'd taken deliberate steps to put some healthy distance between myself and other people. Two in particular. One of whom is my brother (In his word my only living blood relative) who has badly, or completely unmanahed bipolar disorder. Now I know, that in severe cases, it can result in numerous hospitalizations over a persons life and that it sucks. I get all that. I understand it makes it difficult, or even impossible for some of these afflicted people to see reality. I get that it means such things as delusions, paranoia, and so much more. Yes, it sucks.

My bro, he's just crazy enough to not be in a ward somewhere, but having him come all unglued and try and lay guilt trips and other tools of psych warfare on me? Sorry, that's too much. After a month of no contact with him, I started trying e-mail. Guess what happened? He's turned it in to the same kind of armed hostility BS the phone was. All because I called him on one of his many seriously crazy delusions.

As someone who, for reasons too many to list here, has been through the whole ID bit of late I know what a nightmare ID can be these days, especially if you don't have it. I know just how long and tedious a battle getting ID can be, even if you have most of your other papers in order. I've been there, done that, burned the T-Shirt. I'm something of an expert these days. Because of my late husband and his psychotic parents I had to change EVERYTHING, including my social security number and do it all in sealed court proceedings under the watchful eye of Homeland Security. Lucky me, Homeland Security has a file on me, not because of anything I've done, but because of the steps I had to take to protect myself from Earl's parents.

I'm told by Homeland Security and the Social Security folks that I'm the only person since that horrible day in 2001 who has managed to have her SSN legally changed.

How does this relate to my crazy brother you ask? Simple. He's been telling me for a while that there are so many things he can't do because he's lost his Social Security Card and Birth Certificate. He's put off doing anything about it for so long that he's in a catch-22 zone. Why? Because somehow, in this day and age, he doesn't have a current, valid photo ID with his current address, no bank accounts, no credit cards, nothing, not even a library card. So in ways, he doesn't exactly exist. He cannot get a photo ID without BC and Social Security card, but he can't get either one of those without a photo ID to prove he's him. Like I say, catch-22.

So he tried to convince me he just took a long trip to Minesota, Florida and the Virgin Islands. That cell service sucked down there so he couldn't call me, and didn't have access to the net to write me. His only blood relative. Mind you in one months time there's just NO way he could have fixed all the ID problems so that he could get on a plane, nor did he have a credit or debit card to even get his boarding pass. Plus, he's got the same cell service with the same carrier I do, and they support calling from the Virgin Islands with no trouble at all. Not even an extra charge. Trust me, I checked. He neglected to factor into his craziness that he couldn't have called me if his life depended on it because, after my last post on the subject in March I changed my number so he couldn't call me every day, sometimes three and four times, to drive me crazy with complete bullshit.

But I'm the horrible evil little bitch troll from hell because I called him on his delusions. And then he has the nerve to say he's a free citizen and I have no right to start all this crap with him. Yeah, right. I get it, I'm lower than pond scum, I'm the puss that feeds on the pond scum...

Give me a break, I mean really!

And he wonders why his only living relative would treat him like this.

Yeah, right... We live in a time and place where "Papers please" isn't a polite request, it's a demand to prove they have no immediate reason to ship you off to a camp somewhere. But he's a free citizen... Yeah, one that doesn't exist... With his scruffy beard and mustache and olive skin, even WITH ID he'd be subject to extra scrutiny, let alone a Wheelchair, "service dog" and all the rest of the crap and tons of meds he's on. Oh my god, it's a freakin nightmare!!!

I remember traveling with Earl back before real ID and TSA, he had connections into his body for dialysis and other problems, and that was a nightmare, let alone all of my brother's problems...

But hey, I'm the crazy one according to him....

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