Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Anger? What do I do with it . . .

So tonight at about seven I got very angry at the whole state of affairs for those who are blessed or cursed depending on ones outlook with this partic . . .

Oh bullox. Yeah, the whole ts state of affairs has me upset, but honestly that’s not it. I’m just tired, sick and tired of a lifetime of pain, and rightfully angry. Now what in bloody hell am I supposed to with that? Okay, so I’ve calmed some, I still feel somewhat angry. The whole bloody world has been simply rotten to me, my father and husband both abused me, work was a hell I wouldn’t wish upon anyone and I’m angry.

So now the question is what do I do with it? Really, what in the name of all that’s holy do I do with this anger?

Monday, February 20, 2006

Where will she be . . . Tomorrow . . .

I just want to state for the record there is NO reason for this world, this life, to be this hard. I'm so damaged from nearly a decade with Earl that I can't even walk around the block by myself, have not been outside the house without someone with me in almost a year, and I'm working hard on healing.

The ongoing saga with the Social Security Administration? Not good, they are bound and determined to have me sue them into the stone age and I'm ready to oblige. They are discriminating against me and have trampled my civil rights in the some major ways. They have also exposed me to additional danger for no other reason than the are hideous, vile, creatures who lack even a fiber of decency or sensitivity in their heartless, soulless bodies. Mind you that's the nicest thing I can think to say about them. Oy!!!

So where will I be? Probably same old place, same old life, dreaming of just a little more. Now thankfully the dreaming has morphed into a little bit of serious thought. One of these days I'm going to be able to leave the house, and drive to places I've always wanted to see. Go hiking around Sedona (and mayhap heal some too) and soak up the history, energy, views, and peace of the wide open desert. One of these days I'm going to buy a used minivan, set it up to go camping, and see the country one campground at a time. One of these days I'll finally leave the east coast behind me for good and go home to Denver or perhaps find someplace new like Arizona. Time will tell.