Friday, November 25, 2005

Thanksgiving . . .

Well it was unusual and different, but otherwise better than it seemed it was going to be.  Ellie and I started the day slowly, since it was just going to be the two of us.  I was in the kitchen making some cornbread and knocked a perfectly good Riesling white wine off the counter which shattered and the white I was looking forward to introducing Ellie to wound up being introduced to the floor.  Me, well I lost it, broke down crying and the whole bit because "Aunt Flo's" in town and I tend to over react to things.  We went out trying to find an open liquor store without luck, and landed in McDonanlds to wish one of our friends (who works there) a happy thanksgiving.

We made a command decision to put our actual thanksgiving dinner off until tomorrow and had dinner there with Donna and Rose. Donna's the manager and made us special desserts (Yes, and McDonalds . . .) of applied pie ala mod, and added hot fudge to Ellie's, and pickles to mine. Believe it or not I really like pickles and ice cream, the hot apple pie simply made it so much better! Honestly, we had a good time and it really saved the day for me!

Came back home finished making the cornbread and made an extra for Ellie to take with her to work today and that, as they say, was the size of things here. While I was working on the cornbread I made the usual round of calls to friends and family in other states and spent some time on the phone with them. Nothing like a "normal" thanksgiving by any stretch of the imagination, but one I enjoyed regardless.

I had some different things to be thankful for this year, high on the list was being alive! I've been fighting depression on and off for years, back in 2000 because of the way my spouse was treating me the depression started getting worse, and worse. By May of this year I was in so much constant pain that when Flo would come to visit I get so much worse, and close to not being around for this Thanksgiving. Ellie and my Sisters helped me through, gave me a hand seeing the light so to speak and got me to a Doctor. Anti-depressants did not cure me of all that ails me, my life still sucks, but I have a bit healthier perspective on it all now!

So, Thankful that I'm still here, have family and friends who love me, and I'm finally, slowly working on rebuilding a life. For the first time in my life, I'm really, honestly free of some of the things I've been fighting my whole life, and free to just be, ME! May not sound like much, but having some goals, making a bit of progress, and being free to just be ME for a change is something truly worth being thankful for!

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