tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83472512024-03-06T23:28:44.676-05:00What a long strange trip it is!Something like a growth and progress diary [Great just what a grrl needs, another diary to write in!] that will include flashbacks and pointers to other relevant materials. Something like a "Stream of consciousness" with a moving target. This is as much about my growth and recovery as it is about sharing parts of myself with other people who may have been through similar things. No matter what you've been through, or where, or when, know that you are NOT alone!Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10586759980410037672noreply@blogger.comBlogger407125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-21602091256366839202013-10-07T20:51:00.001-04:002013-10-07T20:52:21.408-04:00Calogrenant Episode 66 for your pleasure...While there's no dialog in this panel, if you've been following young Cally's journey, the point here, will be all too clear. My deep thanks to our brilliant artist, author, and gifted storyteller, <a href="http://mythcongeniality.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Gillian</a> Cameron.
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Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-56741333619926753622013-09-30T14:10:00.001-04:002013-09-30T14:10:12.204-04:00More yumminess in the form of another installment in <a href="http://www.calogrenant.com/" target="_blank">Calogrenant!</a> It is Monday after all, and that's when get treated to the yummy goodness. So without further ado, I present you with week 65:<br /><br />
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<a href="http://www.calogrenant.com/index.php?id=65" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://www.calogrenant.com/pages/65.jpg" width="494" /></a></div>Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-46219426174584843422013-09-23T15:48:00.002-04:002013-09-23T15:48:41.753-04:00Calogrenant Week 64 is ready! And the crowd cheers!Our very own brilliant and talented Gillian has given us another installment in <a href="http://www.calogrenant.com/" target="_blank">Calogrenant!</a> It is Monday after all, and that's when these come out. So without further ado, I present you with week 64:<br /><br />
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Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-22775195424261693872013-09-23T15:42:00.002-04:002013-09-23T15:42:42.164-04:00<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18073008-girl-fights-back" style="float: left; padding-right: 20px"><img alt="Girl Fights Back" border="0" src="http://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1371175977m/18073008.jpg" /></a><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18073008-girl-fights-back">Girl Fights Back</a> by <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6433641.Jacques_Antoine">Jacques Antoine</a><br/>
My rating: <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/726411892">5 of 5 stars</a><br /><br />
This book was awesome! You can bet I'll be reading more in this series soon.<br /><br />Seriously, this was better than all the Karate Kid movies and all the best movie fight scenes combined. Jean Claud Van Dam, best surrender now, it will hurt less. Steven Segal, might be a close match to her, but he's still a man that she would mop the floor with.<br /><br />Uma Thurman in Kill Bill would look her in the eyes, plant palm in first and bow deeply, then smile and give Emily a hug.
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<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/list/1863768-samantha">View all my reviews</a>
Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-33725887968368172952013-09-16T16:57:00.001-04:002013-09-16T16:57:32.984-04:00Calogrenant, Week 63!Okay, I know I've not posted in a while, and not updated anything, but I'm working on fixing that. In the meantime, the brilliant and talented Gillian has given us another installment in <a href="http://www.calogrenant.com/" target="_blank">Calogrenant!</a> It is Monday after all, and that's when these come out. So without further ado, I present you with week 63:<br /><br />
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Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-60379474254343668882013-05-13T17:23:00.000-04:002013-09-16T17:24:52.570-04:00Further down this new road, coming to a place . . .<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw-jf02iT0bauQFp0Vh4sp8CIGaAayY4U1eY0RAOFBHltK_MwpG856fqNYZykw8kY5wktqwcNZdNOQQT2aZcoWZFThAeZovMyroPrBxhfyTUuF5Ne9AFt5A7aPz-12BAh6d_e74g/s1600/Boulder+Cafe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw-jf02iT0bauQFp0Vh4sp8CIGaAayY4U1eY0RAOFBHltK_MwpG856fqNYZykw8kY5wktqwcNZdNOQQT2aZcoWZFThAeZovMyroPrBxhfyTUuF5Ne9AFt5A7aPz-12BAh6d_e74g/s320/Boulder+Cafe.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Boulder Cafe, Courtesy Google Street View.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_6JCwRDaraMJjEhnyOo5p-XoXQ7A7m3Bm2rEy7rIQqABiX67ZZTvWd13m6iTe301BehyphenhyphennjRPpBQZEmD2_Ox3dfhd3Cku0s5krVFmgxMNAP2ZyV1hX_EOBW6dfzFEBiMAYiZGBDg/s1600/14th+street+and+Pearl+Street+Mall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_6JCwRDaraMJjEhnyOo5p-XoXQ7A7m3Bm2rEy7rIQqABiX67ZZTvWd13m6iTe301BehyphenhyphennjRPpBQZEmD2_Ox3dfhd3Cku0s5krVFmgxMNAP2ZyV1hX_EOBW6dfzFEBiMAYiZGBDg/s320/14th+street+and+Pearl+Street+Mall.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">14th St and Pearl, Courtesy Google Street View. </td></tr>
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. . .I never thought I'd be, or could dream of as a possibility.<br />
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We're going to go back now, twenty years ago, to the Pearl Street Mall in what was then jokingly refered to as the People's Republic Of Boulder [PRB]. I was newish to Colorado, having moved there recently because I knew in '89 when there on a business trip that I had to move there.<br />
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Colorado was as different from the East as Boulder was from Denver in many ways, and it was a bit of culture shock.<br />
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I'd left a successful career in the east searching for someone I knew in '89 I felt I would meet in Colorado, the woman I'd spend the rest of my life with. Crossing into Colorado in the truck with all my stuff, singing "Rocky Mountain High" at the top of my lungs never once dreaming I'd be where I am right now.<br />
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So Pearl Street Mall in the PRB, that was a big adjustment for me. People laid back, mellow, healthy, going about their lives in one big blur of Zen. For those who've not been there, Pearl Street Mall is a big outdoor party kind of mall. Places to eat, read, drink whatever pleased you from coffee to smoothies with wheat grass, to shop, to sit in the sun. There were, are, more healthy places to shop, to play, to be in that short strip of laid back in that small part of Boulder than was to be believed. REI, Yoga places, cyclists everywhere, and this almost over powering laid back feeling of what I can only describe now as Zen. People right out in public, sitting on yoga mats, meditating and no one paying them any mind. Except for me. I was amazed, mesmerized even.<br />
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I was fresh off Wall Street, no color in my life, clothing, being. I was one of those plastic people that New York City turns out in massive quantities. Standing there in my "uniform" labeled me as not just from outside the PRB, but an alien. And it's that alieness that so didn't fit in this space of artists, hikers, climbers, cyclists, yogis, Buddhists, HEALTHY people everywhere. People buzzing about, coming down off the flatirons on bikes, gathering at a cafe. A woman in active wear, with a yoga mat and bag, flying by on a bike, heading to yoga class with a healthy smoothie in her bottle holder. The calm, meditative, pure zen was as alien to me as I to it. Yes, years of meditation practice was mine, still a place I retreated to, but not where, or how I lived. I was still doing then, while once in a while retreating to being.<br />
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A dear friend and sister who isn't speaking to me now for reasons her own described the differences between us this way at one point: "She practices the art of movement, I the art of stillness." It was a pretty apt description at the time. And it really highlighted why I didn't fit in the PRB. I was, when I wasn't meditating, constantly DOING something. And that was why I didn't fit in Boulder, and I think upon reflection why most of the world, let alone the Denver Metro Area, didn't really understand Boulder. It was, is, a center of BEING, not doing. It was like my sister, stillness in a world of movement. I no more belonged there than most of the people who jokingly call it the People's Republic Of Boulder.<br />
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The problem was even then it spoke to my heart. I could feel, if I allowed myself to, the deep longing to BE. That woman on her way to yoga with her smoothie? I could feel the calm, still, center of peace even as she was moving. She was everything I wasn't but deep inside wanted to be. Deep, deep somewhere inside I knew I needed to be. At that point in my life I was certain that wasn't ever going to be possible.<br />
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Now 20 some years later, I find myself stunned and grateful. Two years ago I got back on a bike after having been off one for decades. With diagnosis and proper treatment of an annoying and problematic birth defect I'm getting more sleep than I ever have, and I'm finding out what I'd chalked up to "getting old" for the last 20 years years or more wasn't. It was that my body has never really worked correctly. So I'm doing more, exploring more, pushing myself a little more. Healing, growing, getting to know me. <br />
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It started with being able to get off the floor without help. Something I'd not been able to do for years. Then I noticed I could go up and down stairs without holding onto anything. Yeah, I know now, pathetic. Then by accident, I found Tara Stiles on You Tube and one of her simple, basic easy beginner's yoga routines. So of course since I could once again get onto and off the floor with out help, what did I do? I dug out the yoga mat I've had for years that I use for meditation. And I started trying these routines. Why? Because <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Tara-Stiles-This-Yoga-Encyclopedia/dp/B0096WOKWM/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1379365608&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=tara+stiles+yoga" target="_blank">Tara Stiles</a> reminds me of Nat Sullivan from <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Debora-Geary/e/B004OA1RVS/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_pop_1" target="_blank">Debora Geary's</a> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Modern-Witch-Series-Book-ebook/dp/B004RZ2660/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1379365506&sr=1-1&keywords=a+modern+witch" target="_blank">Modern Witch</a> series of books.<br />
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So let's see if we got that straight. She can get off the floor, go up and down stairs, and found a video that reminds her of a fictional character in a book? Right. A bit crazy? Maybe not. My doctor joked "Oh sure, it makes perfect sense, now that you can get off the floor without help you start yoga? Most people would fall in love with their coach and not get back on the floor again."<br />
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I'm still riding, and I've working now on running too. On September 1st I ran in my first official chip timed 5k race and finished in under an hour. Not quiet running per say, but it depends on who you ask. I'm working on getting my times down, but that's not really what I'm here to talk about. <br />
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So I'm doing Yoga these days, walking, jogging, and my meditation practice has grown. In January I got my first tattoo, which I talked about then, but recently it came to me, that that woman in Boulder all those years ago? I am her. Now. Where once my closet held only white button downs, black, blue, and grey business slacks and the uptight black shoes to go with those outfits, I think I own maybe two button down blouses now. My closet looks like a rainbow exploded now on the best of days, and having lost 78 pounds since Janurary, I've been buying bits of new clothing, off the rack, in places like Target. And you know, where once I'd have had a nearly identical white button down blouse for every day of the week, I have an explosion of active wear, for cycling, running, yoga and just being. Where in that day so long ago in Boulder I'd not have thought of having my legs exposed, even in the summer, now skirts, shorts, and skorts above the knee show off the results of exercise and genetics. I'm my mother's daughter, and I have her legs.<br />
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And that woman I could only dream of being all those years ago in Boulder? Well she's the woman I see in the mirror these days. This new road has led me to a place that deep in my heart I've always wanted to be, but never dreamed could be real. I am truly blessed, coming to a place I never should have left in the first place.<br />
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<br />Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-75245887088718014822013-01-18T23:35:00.000-05:002013-01-18T23:35:07.808-05:00A short trip in the way back machine . . .January 4th, 2013 started as a day of running around, getting things done, including my first ever visit to <a href="http://chipotle.com/en-US/Default.aspx?type=default" target="_blank">Chipotle</a> then coming home and dropping onto my bed to regroup. It was 1923 hours and I was mentally wrestling with going back out to a local group meeting for Ham Radio operators, something from my past I've started toying with a bit. My heart however really wasn't in it. The meeting was supposed to start at a location not terribly far from my house, I could have made it there had I left right then. But I was also considering going to bed really early and leaving the day behind me. I was just exhausted. So I'm having the conversation with myself about going to the meeting, or going to bed when I had one of those moments of Satori.<br />
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Satori is the Zen concept of a moment of pure enlightenment, Nirvana if you will, or more commonly complete clarity and then you go back to whatever life was before you had that moment. The thing about Satori is that like trauma, it changes you the instant it happens, and going back to what you were working on is often (but not always) rendered pointless. This was one such moment.<br />
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Now we go even further back in the way back to 2003, a decade ago, when another such moment changed the course of my life forever. I undertook some hypnotherapy to help me survive really hard times. My husband had just had his first two heart attacks and my brother Jon had just died. I was a complete mess, and wasn't really certain how I was going to survive the coming storm, or if I was even going to survive it. Thus the hypnotherapy. The law of <b><i>unintended consequences</i></b> basically says that do all the right things, for all the right reasons, and things will happen you could never have planned for or imagined.<br />
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That point in 2003 was like that. In another moment of perfect clarity I saw a path split, one let to a happy, healthy, related tenth wedding anniversary three short years later, or to another funeral I couldn't afford to deal with emotionally. My husband had the choice, take some decent healthy steps toward change and be around for our tenth, or take the other road and be dead before that point.<br />
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Regrettably 2006 came and left me a battered, abused, terrified widow fighting my own health issues and living in fear of my in-laws who BLAMED ME for my husband's death and served only to reinforce my Cassandra complex. You know, Cassandra, the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassandra">mythic figure</a> from Greek history? She predicted the future, no believed her, and then she was cast out? Anyway, by then I was already fighting hard to save my own life, and survive without knowing when, if, where, or even if I would land. During that time, I developed a fascination with many things and had been toying with getting an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Om" target="_blank">Om</a> tattoo on my wrist. Over the years between then and Jan 4th, I'd inked myself using pens, markers, and even henna to see how it felt, and to see if I could stand the thought of living with it for the rest of my life.<br />
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Several times I self inked, each time changes came, each time served to reinforce the concept of having this a part of me forever. Still I waffled, and eventually had stopped thinking about it because one of the places I talked to said it would be at least $100 dollars for the small bit of ink I wanted and they'd never heard of it. The <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Om" target="_blank">Om</a> they said I'd have to bring them a drawing. That was three or four years ago? So I hadn't really given it much thought.<br />
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There is however energy, magic even, in symbolism, and one of the many, many reasons I'd considered getting the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Om" target="_blank">Om</a> was a demarcation between my old life, and my new life. Of course that would first require getting said new life first, and the criteria for that, included a bunch of health related issues I shall not bore you with.<br />
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Getting back to the Friday of the 4th however, there I was trying to decide to go out an socialize, or go to bed early. Which is of course when a sudden flash of perfect clarity left me with the NEED to get that tattoo inked where I wanted it, right now. That Friday night. I suddenly felt refreshed, invigorated, ready, certain, and knowing intuitively that it wasn't going to cost what the first place claimed, but that even if it did, I NEEDED to do this now, that night. I had to find a female artist in a decent place, to trust with the task of forever changing my body irreversibly, and I had to do it then. Some time with my web browser, and few phone calls, including the place I'd been too years ago that said it was going to be $100 dollars, and I remembered driving past another place years ago that the name stuck with me because I thought it was funny. <a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/acme-body-piercing-cincinnati" target="_blank">Acme Body Art.</a> You know the place where while they work to ink you, Wylie Coyote drops a safe on you? Even my brother when I told him the name of the place said about the same thing. But I thought I'd give them a call, see if they were still open, and if they had any female artists on staff.<br />
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Amber put me right at ease, answered my questions, and I speak more about her in my review both on <a href="http://www.yelp.com/biz/acme-body-piercing-cincinnati" target="_blank">Yelp</a>, and here on <a href="http://samstrip.blogspot.com/2013/01/ive-wanted-om-on-inside-of-my-left.html?m=0" target="_blank">my blog</a>.<br />
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It was quite a change for me to leave the house on a Friday night, let alone head downtown, not to mention finding parking right across the street. It was an amazing experience, and one I simply knew I had to do that night. I had no idea what it all meant, but it was an intuitive flash that left me knowing it was time, right then. And I made it happen. The money, time, and certainty in my heart and soul that this was not only something I could live with for the rest of my life, but needed to live with.<br />
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Tonight, it's exactly a two weeks later, and the blush so to speak has not left. It "healed" if that's the word for it, astonishingly quick, it didn't hurt at all when I had it done, hasn't hurt since then, and at most felt like I'd gotten a bit to much sun. Now it doesn't even feel like that. Just smooth, black skin that was once flesh colored. I'm still so thrilled I finally did it. It's in part, representative of my new life, and all the positive changes going on. It's a reminder of then, and what not to do again, and it syncs me in with the universe better, as the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Om" target="_blank">Om</a> is the fundamental frequency of this universe. My home universe. Or at least the one I'm living in now. It's everything, past, present, future, now, all in one place. It's full of deep meaning. And it's something, almost a precious bit of jewelry I don't have to worry about losing. Ever. No matter what happens for the rest of my life, that <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Om" target="_blank">Om</a> is going to be right there with me. <br /><br />I've noticed over the last two weeks of living with it, I'm often seeing it out of the corner of my eye, and it helps remind me to stop, breath, and be. The day after my tat went on, I'm once again at <a href="http://chipotle.com/en-US/Default.aspx?type=default" target="_blank">Chipotle</a> eating my burrito and I enjoyed it even more, because I was reminded to be still, mindful as I eat, to savor the blessing of good food. After years of avoiding <a href="http://chipotle.com/en-US/Default.aspx?type=default" target="_blank">Chipotle</a> because of hype, I wanted something different that Friday and thought, okay, I'll try it. I am ever so glad I did. The food is wonderful and they are a deeply "green" company mindful of such concepts of sustainability and organics. It's good food, it tastes good, is good for you, and it's all done with sustainability and green culture in fact, not in name only. They buy, whenever and wherever possible from local suppliers, use only meat grown to their exacting, organic, humane, free range/natural feed, specifications and pay farmers a premium for it, on purpose. Because they only use specific cuts of meat, farmers are free to sell the rest as fully organic and make even more money of their work. <br /><br />So Friday January 4th was a very full day, one with new experiences, things accomplished, and my first ever tattoo. I'm already planning my next bit of ink for my left wrist which will be a Zen <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enso" target="_blank">Enso</a> of some kind. I'm still thinking about it. Okay, maybe not such a short trip in the way back machine, but a worthwhile one.Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com1270 Ludlow Avenue, Cincinnati, OH 45220, USA39.1433361 -84.51827129999998113.621301599999999 -125.82686529999998 64.6653706 -43.209677299999981tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-72721236376417738002013-01-11T00:50:00.000-05:002013-01-18T22:17:19.697-05:00A bit of permanence in an impermanent universe . . .<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisUVZ_juGhDa_Y0xJtlFnwk2WXl8D5gt8sWFpsjP7tC3XDXFmFxZVGeG2krKD5eGIpI3f5hZccSsHG3wECRiZl0mW5taET87gTk8sxoDJl17536oU0WzEcgIPj6BAXAVuYPBwvcA/s1600/265216_10200199364696030_1707874666_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisUVZ_juGhDa_Y0xJtlFnwk2WXl8D5gt8sWFpsjP7tC3XDXFmFxZVGeG2krKD5eGIpI3f5hZccSsHG3wECRiZl0mW5taET87gTk8sxoDJl17536oU0WzEcgIPj6BAXAVuYPBwvcA/s400/265216_10200199364696030_1707874666_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I put this image together after seeing some other ideas online and posted it to facebook, but it's been rolling around in my head and heart for some time since then. It's come to me however in the almost a week since I finally became a tattooed lady, that this means even more to me than I'd first thought, or could even imagine.<br />
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I should start by saying that some of the things that everyone else I know and have talked to about getting inked never happened to me. It was over the course of the last eight years I've been considering this that I have a less sensitive part of the body inked first, because the inside of the wrist hurts more than other parts of the body. It was suggested I get a really tiny intro tat someplace else on my body so that I'd know if the pain was going to be a problem. It was also mentioned that the endorphin rush after the tat was done would make the pain so worth it, and that people often get addicted to being inked because of the high afterwards.<br />
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Well I missed out on all of that. As Amber was inking my wrist I sat there completely relaxed and comfortable chatting with her like we were having tea. To me is felt simply like she was drawing on my wrist with a pen. No pain at all. And afterwards, no endorphin rush either. :( So no chance I'll become addicted to being inked. Thankfully, I can and do get endorphin rushes when I'm out cycling and I break through that wall, hit the zone where it's all flow and go. So I don't feel cheated. Drugs and pain however are not what I'm here to talk about. Which is a good thing, lest I bore you all into a coma.<br />
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What struck me, aside from all my existing reasons for finally taking this irreversible step and permanently altering my body is something I'd not expected. <br />
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Over the years I've lost nearly everything I've ever owned more than once. I've been profoundly homeless. Even now, the remains of my life and my marriage sit in a storage locker a thousand miles away. I'm spending an absurd amount of money on the storage locker until I can get there, save what I want to keep, and donate the rest to Goodwill. Of course the money I'm spending to keep this locker is money I could be saving every month to get out there and get what I wanted to keep out of the locker.<br />
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I'm a Buddhist, and aware of the suffering attachment and impermanence can bring. I'm not really so wrapped up in the property that's there. It's stuff that I've not really had any major access to since I put it in storage almost a decade ago. Yup, nearly 10 years ago. I'm interested in saving some of the memories there, and selling some of the valuables there to then be able to finally move back to Colorado, and start saving for a trip to California. But most important are reclaiming some of the good memories that are locked away in that storage locker and sharing them with others. Like of all things the video of our wedding that Earl didn't want and his parents did. On it, is my brother, being his usual priceless self, a video my sister-in-law never saw because she wasn't married to my brother at the time. A brother now long gone. So it's about closure, it's about the future, it's about doing something right. Because I have worked hard to rebuild my life after Earl and his folks, and having then the locker go into default and getting the hit on my credit report.<br />
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So I'm working towards getting that done, but it came to me that no matter what happens I've reached the point that if I have to, I can walk away from what is in the locker. I won't like once again losing everything from my past, but I can do it. And it'll be memories, opportunities and good credit lost - again.<br />
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Which brings me to what struck me about this simple bit of ink. For the rest of this lifetime, it's mine. No one can take it away from me, it's something I invested in that I will own for all the days of my life. It's a level of permanence I've never had before. It's kinda stunning and amazing for me. I own it. It's also not something that can be stuck in a box, dropped in a storage locker, and left there for ten years. Even if I lose everything including even my clothes, I will still own and have with me this ink. It's a lovely bit of permanence in an impermanent universe . . . this means more to me than I possibly could have imagined in the eight, more years that I've wanted this tattoo. It struck me suddenly, but feels really good. Standing naked in a spring rain, this will be with me, part of me. It's mine, I own it, and regardless of what may happen for the rest of my life, I'll own this and what it represents to me. That's a sudden and powerful feeling for someone who has lived a life that is an exercise in impermanence. I'm kinda stunned.<br />
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<br />Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-5561940728972483472013-01-06T16:28:00.000-05:002013-01-06T17:02:44.836-05:00Inked And Proud ...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">I've recently left behind the world, membership in a group of people and moved to a new special group. I'm inked now, I got my first tattoo recently, one I've wanted for years. So while I'm no longer a member of the part of humanity that has never been inked, I'm Inked And Proud! There on the right is my first tattoo ever. A long time I've been waiting, thinking, meditating about this one. The other night in a moment of Satori I </span><b style="color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">KNEW! </b><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">It was time. No doubts, no fears, no uncertainty whatsoever, just the clarity of knowing I'd arrived and had to do this right now. NOW! It was Friday night, and I don't usually go downtown into the heart of the city at night, let alone on Friday night. But I knew it was time. When I got down there I even found parking right across the street from Acme Body Art, and that just was another indication that today was the day, this was the time and place. But I'm getting ahead of myself in my tale.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">I've wanted an Om on the inside of my left wrist for at least eight years. I've done it myself time and again with Sharpies and even Henna. Friday after a day of running around, I could feel it was time. It was the time. I had a few places in mind in downtown, and read the reviews carefully. There are plenty of places in Cincinnati to get inked, many are well reviewed, Acme Body Art however made the most sense to me because they had answers to my questions that others did not. Then I called Acme and asked the questions most important to me. The first being did they have any female artists there, and Amber got on the phone. My other question was did she know what an Om was. It's amazing how many places did not know what it was. She answered my other questions and put me at ease with this lifetime change, this piece of art that would be part of my body forever. I jumped in the car and drove down to the shop and found a parking spot right there! Just another sign this was right, right now. Alas, they DO NOT take credit cards, thankfully there's a money god (ATM) at the Marathon station right nearby.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">Amber was awesome, very professional, took her time talking with me about exactly what I wanted, then stenciled it in place and let me sit and look at it to be sure it was the right size, in the right place. The workstation was clean, the whole place was clean, I felt safe, and then Amber showed me all that she was using, was all clean, sterile equipment and supplies. Then the hard part for her, and the easy part for me began.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">I've heard being inked hurts. This was NOT my experience. I've heard the inside of the wrist is the most painful place. Also NOT my experience at all. Amber was slow, gentle, took her time, and was very focused on getting this done for me. We chatted while she worked and it was an excellent experience. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">The walls of the shop are adorned with original art, done by the artists there that is just breathtaking. So the entire experience was everything I could have hoped for and then some. Very worth the money if you're thinking of getting inked. This was my first time, but it shan't be my last, and Amber at Acme will be the artist I trust to forever mark my canvas.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">Everything about the experience was wonderful, everything is clean, everyone is friendly, the atmosphere is calm, and no one there felt rushed to me. These people, each of them, are gifted artists, and know what they are doing in a clean, safe environment that will have you feeling relaxed, safe, and in good hands. I didn't get the names of the two male artists on staff, and honestly, that's my fault. I'd also like to give a shout out to Erin, another gifted artist that works there, some of her art was hanging on the walls as well and we spoke a bit about it while I was there. Like Amber her vibe is awesome, and I would feel safe n her hands as well. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">Frankly, the vibe/energy/feel of the whole place is great. So if you're thinking ink, and you're in Cincinnati, this is the place to go. No question. Everything about this place is five star. And the prices were lower than I'd thought they were going to be. You can't go wrong with Acme!</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">Oh and their phone number has changed - (513) 559-1670 - it's easier to remember! :-)</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">It's important to keep in mind that a tattoo is for all practical purposes, forever. This is one thing you can and will take with you to the very last day of your life. Be sure of what you want. Try it with sharpies, try it with henna, give it some serious thought, and pick something with meaning, something that speaks to you heart & mind. Don't get someone's name inked on to your body unless there is a really good reason, even then think it through...</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px; text-align: left;">I went to Acme Body Art @ 270 Ludlow Ave in Cincinnati because out of all the places I looked at, I felt the safest there, and because the vibe was right, both the vibe of the place, and the artist. I'll be back there again.</span>Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-55412896379763978682012-10-27T20:32:00.002-04:002012-10-27T20:33:59.060-04:00No longer just a 'possibility' of progress...In my last post I mentioned finally seeing a good Endocrinologist. One who, at our first meeting, based on my history alone said "I'll be stunned if it isn't CAH."<br />
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Monday October 22nd came and found me once again sitting down with my new Endo after tests she ordered. I was a nervous wreck, the night before I was in the shower sobbing, and then on the phone with my sister terrified that the tests would come back negative. I mean really, who in their right mind wishes they were going to be officially diagnosed with a birth defect? But that's just what I was hoping. Negative results would mean that I didn't have CAH and we'd be back to "I have no idea what is wrong with you." Lynne did a wonderful job of helping me calm down, and reminded me that it wasn't just my Endo that thought it was CAH as Lynne and I had spent time researching it and comparing notes with my life.<br />
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The fear however was still there. All my life I was so used to hearing things from doctors like "Well given everything you've been living with, I'm stunned you're even alive. But we have no idea what's wrong with you." I was terrified Monday was going to bring another "Well clearly you have health issues, but we still have no idea what's wrong with you."<br />
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I really need not have worried, because my new Endo, well she was not the least bit stunned. I do in fact have Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia (CA) and have had it since birth. Thus Congenital. So Monday, after a lifetime of suffering, I started on treatment for it. One of the many crushing symptoms of it was an inability to sleep in any way that was really healthy. It was this, and the weight problems I have that finally had me at the Endo's since my primary care had no clue. She's a wonderful doctor, but the most recent in a long line of Doctors that had marveled at the fact that I was alive at all. She suggested the new Endo. I owe that woman a big hug at the very least.<br />
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So, I started on new meds Monday. Wednesday night I went to bed, still not having noticed a difference in my sleep behavior hoping it would change soon. Nine hours later I awoke to the sun shining in my bedroom and no idea what had happened. Nine hours of solid sleep was a miracle for me. A major one! Had a spot of breakfast and my morning meds (which include the new ones for CAH) and then took a 45 minute nap! Not content, and worried this was a fluke, I went to bed Thursday night, hoping the new sleep would last. I woke up once for breakfast and pills and again took a short nap. Almost 12 hours of sleep waking up briefly only once. Friday night, went to sleep, rose for breakfast and pills and then back to sleep. 10 hours last night.<br />
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God willing it shall continue! And as I understand things, it should.<br />
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There are other signs that I will not bore you with that also indicate real progress here. So it's not longer a 'possibility' of progress here, it is actual progress. And I shall be eternally grateful for the change this diagnosis, and treatment has brought to my life. My whole life I've been waiting for this. The new treatment however will do nothing to change my salt issues, so I'm still going to be consuming staggering amounts of salt. I can live with that!Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-60647492706676541422012-09-26T21:26:00.002-04:002013-01-18T23:36:22.509-05:00A possibility of progress. . .I finally managed to get to a new Endo this month. My GP has wanted me to go now for years. But it's just not been something I was able to handle financially, or emotionally.<br />
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In July, I reached the point where I felt confident this was something I could manage all the way around, and my own research had led me to some conclusions that could explain so much about my life, my medical history, and health issues I've been dealing with, many of them for my entire life.<br />
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Irony of ironies, having only just found my way to the information myself, sitting down with an Endo and describing all the minor, but life long issues we've never fully been able to deal with, she said "I'll be stunned if it isn't CAH." I didn't lead her to it, just told her what I've been dealing with for so long. To hear her reach the same conclusion without even suggesting it, well it was at once empowering as it was frightening.<br />
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CAH is Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia. Over simplified, it means, that at some point during pregnancy, something didn't quite go right, and I was born with a messed up body. Depending on it's severity, it can kill outright, usually within the first few weeks of life, or leave one with a lifetime of problems.<br />
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You can figure out which one I got.<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaXPo3248BnpucpdqL0cSQMlBD8Uf0z1nSsUh-XnIbMAqjcV1af01Ms3Ec_QCx0pPlinL2z3ZmMG3jnSfLRfLRt2nBDG95sFKDyKBxHBqYfjkLD6-hLHgmY8rNgYfWS5wSWoNY4Q/s1600/IMG_20120925_122455.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaXPo3248BnpucpdqL0cSQMlBD8Uf0z1nSsUh-XnIbMAqjcV1af01Ms3Ec_QCx0pPlinL2z3ZmMG3jnSfLRfLRt2nBDG95sFKDyKBxHBqYfjkLD6-hLHgmY8rNgYfWS5wSWoNY4Q/s200/IMG_20120925_122455.jpg" width="150" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yes, a flash picture of salt.</td></tr>
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One of the biggest indicators of this has been a series of jokes with my family and friends, and instructions from my childhood doctor. You see most people need to watch their salt intake to prevent them from getting too much and risking health problems. A fairly normal, healthy diet and you'll get just enough salt to do fine. For my whole life, I've had to consume frankly astonishing amounts of salt. Even to this day I'm refilling the salt shaker on the table once a month or so, and I'm the only one that lives here. So to the right of course is more than a pound of salt, and in most houses this will last more than a year. In my house, I go through three pounds a year at least. If I don't, I get sick. My blood work shows as being off, which of course in the worst case, means dehydration and IVs. This is just not exactly normal. It's the variant of CAH known as "Salt Wasting" and the one that usually kills in the first weeks of life. Simply put, it means I go through salt way quicker than most people, and have to constantly replenish it. My childhood doctor told my parents that "for whatever reason" my body goes through salt much quicker and that not only was it okay for me eat lots of it, that I actually should. And of course nothing crazier for parents to see than their child hit a salt craving and watch as I'd just pour salt into my hand and lick it up. Over time, that hasn't changed at all. Though now when I get hit with a salt craving, I'll dive into a jar of dill pickles and not come out until it's empty, juice and all.<br />
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Tomorrow early I'll be checking into the hospital as the spend time running tests on my blood. It promises to be great fun, if you like being stuck with needles as the take blood out of you, and inject stuff in.<br />
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Once they release me, a few weeks later, I'll have the results and another meeting with the Endo.<br />
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She's assured me, that if this diagnosis is correct and confirmed, it's treatable and I can live a normal healthy life. But the upside to all this is that many of the health issues that I'm taking meds for, well they probably won't need medication before to long, and I'll be able to shed weight again with proper diet and exercise. Which in the last seven some years hasn't been working. I'll be thrilled to get rid of this extra weight, and be taking less meds. But eventually it's going to mean buying new clothes, but fitting back into my old jeans. I look forward to that part. So there's a possibility of progress on the wind, and of course major health benefits, including but not limited to being able to sleep through the night for the first time in years. That will be awesome!<br />
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Since the meeting with the Endo I've been running the stages of grief. And just in time for my day with the leeches (kidding folks) I've made some kind of peace with it I think. This is a battle in one form or another I've been fighting most of my life and my father in particular always chalked it up to me being crazy, which meant more head doctors than time with someone who could really help. Yes, without question CAH causes moodiness, depression and plenty of other problems as your body tried to keep you going as your electrolyte levels and hormones swing madly. But it doesn't mean you're crazy. Feeling like I've spent my life fighting a monster that really was under the bed that everyone said was all in my head? Well it's depressing and feels like a life, not exactly wasted, but stolen from me once again. Thus the stages of grief.<br />
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In the end, it's not what was, or could have been that really engages me here, it's a possibility of progress.Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-24044902955025082422012-09-16T01:10:00.001-04:002012-09-16T01:10:35.007-04:00The smell remembers when . . .Imagery can be a powerful thing. It's central to many kinds of relaxation techniques including guided visualizations and meditations. But sometimes it can yield breathtaking surprises when least expected. <br /><br />
Scents, those tiny air born clusters of atoms can trigger relaxation, even memories. Think of how you feel when you're at the beach, imagine the way it sounds, close your eyes and picture in your minds eye the way it looks, and now that awesome smell you associate with the beach.<br />
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If you had any success with this brief exercise in guided visualization, the beach you felt, heart, saw and smelled is a specific beach that you have been to and enjoyed. You've also accomplished a well known stress busting means of relaxation. Congratulations! If you didn't don't feel bad, that was a really quick, simple example. Usually there is more involved.<br />
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If you didn't, or have never been to a beach to visualize (oh the horror!) then try visualizing everything about a special place that you know well. See how that works? How that feels? Even smells associated with the place?<br />
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In our often hectic life, we can be surprised by a sight, sound, or smell that makes us think of somewhere else far away. Guided visualization techniques not withstanding, I'm sure each of you reading this has experienced something like that. Specific places often have a complex mixture of cues that remind us of a specific place. It's the nature of memory. So just as no two types of flowers smell the same, different beaches have their own complex signature. Beaches not withstanding, think of the difference between the way the air smells in the fall, and in the summer time. Two very different scents yes?<br />
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As I've mentioned before, I'm a Stargate franchise fan. I've watched pretty much every episode and movie (except Universe) repeatedly for my own enjoyment. I've had many dreams where I've been involved with the program, at the SGC, on Atlantis, or on the various ships they have, working with the amazing people there. I've been through the gate many, many times, but will always remember my first time so clearly. The Gate system is also involved in some of my meditations. Specifically one particular planet that I travel to often. So often I have an apartment there. My apartment is a few short blocks from a glorious beach that I go to quite often to relax. For me the experiences, and the memories they are tied to, are no less real than places I've been to on earth. Like a Star trek: Next generation era holodeck, my mind fills in all the details, ones I don't often notice but are etched into my memories with or without my notice.<br />
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Before I go any further, let me mention I've not yet been, in this lifetime, anywhere near the Mediterranean Sea on earth. Never spent time at any beach on the Med so I have no scent linked memories that go with it.<br />
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My beach on 427 (P4C-427) however is etched indelibly into my heart and mind in ways I'd even not expected. It is a wonderful place and I can often be found sitting there meditating at all hours of the day and night. It brings me great peace. Often when I'm meditating here on earth, in my mind I first go to my beach on 427 and do my sitting there. So even though I've not fully explored the area, there are scents drifting on the breeze that cannot be missed or mistaken.<br /><br />I tend, here on earth to eschew scented products most of the time. The chemicals and such they use hardly ever get the smell right. Which is part of why I'm fond of incense. It's made of more natural materials. So imagine my surprise when I bought a bottle of Dawn that was labeled as Mediterranean Lavender and promptly forgot about it until the one I had open was finished.<br /><br />When I finally did open it and start using it I stopped what I was doing completely stunned. That was my beach the scent they had put into the soap. It honestly surprised me so much I had to stop and read the label since I'd forgotten what I'd bought. honestly I'd not even looked at the label when I got it, I picked it simply because it was purple. No, I'm not kidding. But it smells just like my beach on a completely different planet. That really caught me up short.<br />
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I'm reminded of the Trisha Yearwood song "The Song Remembers When." In it she sings about how a song on the radio can bring back a rush of memories. I so get that, and it's a common theme, so much so that there are other songs that say basically the same thing in different ways.<br /><br />In this case however "The Smell Remembers When." And I have a new dish soap that I'll keep on buying. If only because it makes me think of my other home, far from here.<br />
<br />Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-36310065167539576542012-08-28T04:22:00.003-04:002012-08-28T04:22:53.362-04:00I'm Sorry . . .<br />
I am imperfect, flawed, a soul walking my own road to the great path. I walk with kindness, compassion, empathy and honesty. I share things from my own pasts to let people know they are not alone. I have lived, died, been rebirthed of my own ashes and that's just in this trip. I am Buddhist person, a mystical being of light made flesh, I am old, I am young, I share freely not to force my beliefs or experiences on you but to let you know I hear what your heart says even as words may fail us both. If my existence or attempts to temper suffering with kindness and stories from my past, or my future, offend you, please be honest, or simply unfriend me. Do not wait until you are angry, fearful and suffering to lash out at me suddenly. Walk in the light, with me, or without, but do not presume to inflict your limitations on my existence because I am not you. I'm sorry I'm not you now if that offends you, but I have been there before. I walk my path based on my perceptions of what is, not based on yours. I am sorry if this makes anyone uncomfortable.<br />
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All roads lead to the great path. Many cross. Fair day my friends.<br />
Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-55797799012248137132012-08-13T17:56:00.000-04:002013-09-10T17:59:11.806-04:00Calogrenant Week 5, August 13, 2012<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.calogrenant.com/index.php?id=5" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://www.calogrenant.com/pages/5.jpg" width="492" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.calogrenant.com/index.php?id=5" target="_blank">Calogrenant Week 5, Published August 13, 2012</a></div>
<br />Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-55905601213176939822012-08-06T17:49:00.000-04:002013-09-10T17:51:05.925-04:00Calogrenant Week 4, August 6, 2012<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.calogrenant.com/index.php?id=4" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://www.calogrenant.com/pages/4.jpg" width="491" /></a></div>
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If you've not been there yet, clicking on the image above will take you directly to the <a href="http://www.calogrenant.com/index.php?id=4" target="_blank">Calogrenant</a> website.<br />
<br />Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-70617611758347697872012-07-25T15:38:00.000-04:002012-07-25T15:38:08.228-04:00<object height="360" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/HTHWa60L8yk?version=3&hl=en_US"></param>
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Simply Priceless. You really want to watch this one. Will Frey and Austin Zenhder are famous. Infamous even.Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-6194710205316570332012-07-25T15:28:00.001-04:002012-07-25T15:28:17.667-04:00<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Just a question... When did wanting to see small businesses have a fighting chance against bloated multinationals and wanting to see that ordinary people have a living wage and a place to live and enough to eat and not have to fear that an illness will beggar them become socialism? And if that is socialism, what's so horrible about it? - Gillian Cameron</blockquote>Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-55249534572804671882012-07-23T17:33:00.000-04:002013-09-10T17:36:01.391-04:00Calogrenant Week 2, July 23, 2012<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.calogrenant.com/index.php?id=3" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://www.calogrenant.com/pages/3.jpg" width="308" /></a></div>
<br />Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-7958967357297618432012-07-23T15:34:00.002-04:002012-07-23T15:50:55.469-04:00Victimizing the victims - instead of the perpetrators . . .I am a survivor of Sexual Assault, which in most states in a first degree felony. My now late husband used power, privilege and money every step of the way to fight from having the light of truth shined on his miserable soul. At every turn he used the courts against me to keep me from having any real closure or protection from his ongoing actions. Six some odd years ago he died while fighting our divorce. He was found in contempt of court repeatedly for violations of retraining orders, failure to appear and continuing to stalk me. He didn't even get a slap on the wrist. His death was the only closure I got. I had to find out about it second hand. My lawyer who'd been notified by the court that the divorce was dismissed because Earl died didn't bother to contact me. A Friend called to let me know when she heard from one of my husband's friends that he had died.<br />
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I've often said rapists and sexual predators should be put to death. But you know, I'm not completely sure about that anymore, because frankly, Earl got off easy and "escaped" for now, the consequences of his actions.<br />
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Regrettably, we live in a rape culture. Where rapists, and sexual predators are protected while their victims continue to get victimized.<br />
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Recently a young woman in Kentucky was sexually assaulted and had pictures of her assault spread to the four winds BY THE two men that committed the assault. It took a year to get the matter into court, and rather than fighting the charges and getting a real sentence, they made a plea arrangement with the court to get what amounts to a slap on the wrist. Outraged, she tweeted their names and what had happened.<br />
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So guess who is likely to wind up in jail? The victim!<br />
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<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/21/savannah-dietrich-faces-charges_n_1692374.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl5%7Csec1_lnk3&pLid=182453#slide=more232700">Savannah Dietrich, 17-Year-Old Sexual Assault Victim, Faces Charge For Naming Attackers</a><br /><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: small; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><br /></span></h1>
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Once again the victim being victimized instead of the perpetrators. So I did some digging, and managed to catch more of the information and most importantly, the names and pictures of the two CONVICTED SEX OFFENDERS that attacked Savannah.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">First up we have</span> <b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: red;">Austin Zehnder</span> of Kentucky<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;">:</span></span></b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: red; font-size: small;">Austin Zehnder - Convicted Of First Degree Sexual Assault, A Felony.</span></b></td></tr>
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Don't you just love those eyes? That winning smile? The hardened chiseled features? Ruggedly handsome or lifelong sociopath. My money is on the later.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Next up we have </span><b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: red;">Will Frey III</span> also of Kentucky:</span></b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: red; font-size: small;"><b>Will Frey III - Convicted Of First Degree Sexual Assault, A Felony.</b></span></td></tr>
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Another award winning specimen of humanity here. These men Sexually Assaulted Savannah in Kentucky and posted PICTURES of the act electronically. They violated a young woman without her consent for their own deviant needs and BRAGGED about it to friends and online. They were convicted of First Degree Sexual Assault, A FELONY and given a slap on the wrist while Savannah, rightfully upset and violated may go to jail for letting the world know who these men are? By a FEMALE judge no less. <br />
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Once again, Victimizing the victims instead of the perpetrators. Way to go America. Savannah, we are your sisters and we stand with you.Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-53157970533277084262012-07-16T17:19:00.000-04:002013-09-10T17:54:07.761-04:00Calogrenant begins!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
My dear friend, brilliant artist, and talented story teller Gillian Cameron of <a href="http://http//mythcongeniality.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Mythcongeniality</a> has undertaken a new weekly comic set in an around Camelot. Having been a big fan of anything to do with the old Legend, and or stories based around it, <a href="http://www.calogrenant.com/" target="_blank">Calogrenant</a> gives us a whole new twist on one of the Knights of King Arthur's round table. So with great pleasure, I give you the first two pages of this young Knight's adventure.</div>
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<br />Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-51766297614801865532012-07-13T13:34:00.001-04:002013-01-18T23:37:47.339-05:00Now this is what I call progress!Today, while running errands, I came through an intersection that I'd not really paid attention to in a while. Or it could be the new glasses giving me a different enough view of the world that I'm seeing more. Or it could be all the meditation and being instead of doing. It could be all of the above.
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Or it could just be that it's Friday the thirteenth?<br />
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Whatever the case may be, I noticed something different about the intersection. Something changed, new, missing.<br />
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Here is the intersection a year ago:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizmbl-d9gChls4LvrkdnKPcUhTmPvkTyXhrfkVEHRuJGhe-iNtEm2kNYMrs2pSh1huweWjpnMa0gE7Gsx0qg5hMix_QVSmuB6YClHc8WbkfrIeT1wgrxPViGE6lrNbVlMHDWQY/s1600/Taco+Bell+on+Galbraith+and+Winton+Road+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizmbl-d9gChls4LvrkdnKPcUhTmPvkTyXhrfkVEHRuJGhe-iNtEm2kNYMrs2pSh1huweWjpnMa0gE7Gsx0qg5hMix_QVSmuB6YClHc8WbkfrIeT1wgrxPViGE6lrNbVlMHDWQY/s400/Taco+Bell+on+Galbraith+and+Winton+Road+3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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The above image was taken from Google Maps which still shows the Taco Bell Restaurant clearly there. This is from the Galbraith side of the space. When I moved here in 2008, that's the way the corner looked right up until last year when Taco Bell closed. When I saw that it had closed I kinda groaned. We all know about urban sprawl. The obsession with paving over and building on every bit of property till there's nothing natural left. Here's the intersection from the Winton road side:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1k7b2qJtWv-yE3R6xdPv50CAk1PDtFJdGf3YCRLMOl1MCeaT6ihCwaoYVzb3sCbHsUs64Iaf0KLj0d-IAWpsY1R_TRZulmBMZ_rnkwrOoFDst3_IADjLV5NwpxlM68Tkux2FH/s1600/Taco+Bell+on+Galbraith+and+Winton+Road+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1k7b2qJtWv-yE3R6xdPv50CAk1PDtFJdGf3YCRLMOl1MCeaT6ihCwaoYVzb3sCbHsUs64Iaf0KLj0d-IAWpsY1R_TRZulmBMZ_rnkwrOoFDst3_IADjLV5NwpxlM68Tkux2FH/s400/Taco+Bell+on+Galbraith+and+Winton+Road+2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Today however was a very different story. The restaurant, parking, blacktop, the blight, was gone and in it's place, grass and trees! I'm thrilled and amazed. Progress, in the right direction! I mean really, planting grass, trees, and shrubs? Holy Hannah!!! This is something to cheer about in my book.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVG17hJppmFi8D7OyXGfcTgXa6iBR4MohnHg56I0UvCR21VHjnX5coKT905wNHoQqC-hdSSpgLmHYX0H4CJDDPVSWPZ9w6A7F4XSgrTlYkrGjO_CZmuXwj2WpZoWbXBkYQirJj/s1600/339436_4234741756007_1332132613_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVG17hJppmFi8D7OyXGfcTgXa6iBR4MohnHg56I0UvCR21VHjnX5coKT905wNHoQqC-hdSSpgLmHYX0H4CJDDPVSWPZ9w6A7F4XSgrTlYkrGjO_CZmuXwj2WpZoWbXBkYQirJj/s400/339436_4234741756007_1332132613_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10586759980410037672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-85614044505808596792012-07-11T12:55:00.002-04:002012-07-11T12:55:32.990-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3rr9fg1KkmYUWGr_2TNNB4lEaHgX6bSKXZ4Wx62C6fN7waj-AMSP-ochs9GQhcjB9AkUbevAM-aVKwM7vxLLjGJqkX_JTpRMkpnnZZcHykTtzOJ0rgipq5EwtrBKG1Mu9-MEp/s1600/New+Profile+Picture+July+11+2012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3rr9fg1KkmYUWGr_2TNNB4lEaHgX6bSKXZ4Wx62C6fN7waj-AMSP-ochs9GQhcjB9AkUbevAM-aVKwM7vxLLjGJqkX_JTpRMkpnnZZcHykTtzOJ0rgipq5EwtrBKG1Mu9-MEp/s320/New+Profile+Picture+July+11+2012.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
Given that my last "profile" picture was taken I think last year - maybe - I decided that a fresh one was in order. That and of course the fact that I'm now rockin the librarian look, I figured what the heck right?<br /><br />So as I'm sitting here working away on the computer I thought it was time. To the right, the result. Untouched, unprocessed, and without make-up of any kind is me in natural light. I'm sitting in front of a nice large window that looks out over sky and trees. So the light was good for a shot. On the wall, boring stuff like a calendar, a map of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Miami_Scenic_Trail">Little Miami Scenic Trail</a> that runs through Ohio, a place I enjoy riding now and then, and a reminder for workouts. Namely that if you can sing while working out, you're not working hard enough. Something a friend told me when I was giving thought to upgrading my heart rate monitor. So there you have it. Short post, new picture, and a smile.Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10586759980410037672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-56873418855252260992012-07-01T03:54:00.000-04:002012-07-01T03:54:16.277-04:00Lucid Dreaming meets Quantum Jumping . . .So if you go snuffling about on the web you can find all sorts of bits and pieces on the concepts of both Lucid Dreaming and Quantum Jumping. I will let you chose to chase those down if you are of a mind and just close over what they are.<br /><br />Lucid dreaming in short is the ability to direct dreams. Instead of being an observer taken by the dream where your subconcious mind would take you, one is an active participant, and is offered the chance to go in dream space where you wish.<br /><br />Quantum Jumping simply put is quite literally surfing the multiverse for other nows, thens, and whens. Everything that possibly can exist, does exist, somewhere and time is just an illusion.<br /><br />Often I have dreams that are either Lucid in nature, or Quantum in nature, last night was the first time the two meshed quite unexpectedly and seamlessly.<br /><br />I found myself standing next to Jumper One, in the parking lot of Catherine's Confections in Great Barrington Massachusetts. A place I know and love, but do not often get to, especially these days when I'm over a thousand miles from there. In any case, I'm standing there, the day is wonderful and I don't have a bag with me. I could either go in, get some of their fudge, or head on out to other places. In fact I realized I was stopping there as I was taking the back way to Stockbridge to go hunting for a church that I'm not sure I've lost. That's a topic for another post. So in any case, I of course chose to go inside to get some fudge.<br /><br />What happened next was fascinating to say the least. <br /><br />My sister P, who passed from this world into the next four years ago looked up from behind the counter, smiled and said "Hey Sis" as she was helping another customer. A flood of memories opened themselves to me and I remembered that in this part of time space, her life, and mine, had gone very differently and she was obviously still alive. "D" she hollered over her shoulder "Customer" and said I'll be with you in a bit.<br /><br />So this really good looking guy walks out of the back room, gives me a smile I'd know anywhere, and says "Can I help you Ms?" The stunned look on my face wasn't missed by my sister who gave me a wink and a smile as she finished ringing up her customer.<br /><br />Looking around for Alan Funt, or one of those "I get that all the time" cameras I stammered "Dillon McDermot, as I live and breath, what are YOU doing here?"<br /><br />Shock, then a blank look on his face, then a "Yes I am, how did you know my name? I'm new here, P just hired me."<br /><br />My sister also surprised said "Dillon, I'd like you to meet my sister Sam, but I guess you two already know each other?"<br /><br />Looking at both of them I manage "This is a joke right?" Then it hits me, no, no joke, my sister is still alive so anything is possible and I'm somewhere else. Here he's not the famous actor, here he's not known to some as the guy that managed to do a respectable job of following in Jimmy Stewart's shoes. Here he's just a guy working at a Confectionery. I pause for dramatic effect, decide to share some of what his life became somewhere else. He looks at me like I'm crazy and says "What the hell am I doing here then? Are you kidding me? How can this be possible if I'm working here and hardly anyone knows me?" Then as an aside to my sister "Sorry P, it's nothing personal, I appreciate the job, but I've always wondered what my life could be if I wasn't so ... normal?"<br /><br />She looks at Dillon and says "D, my sister is special, she's always known things and sometimes she shares. Life could be very different in other places and times and she can see them all. Years ago, she saw what life could be, warned us, told our family what was going to happen. If I, we'd not listened, I'd be four years dead now. You're looking at a woman that died four years ago somewhere else. I'd be lying if I said I understood it, but my sister is like my Mom, some kind of magical being or something. I learned years ago to just roll with it. Maybe you two should talk more, see what she can tell you about you somewhere else. Maybe you could get out of here, have a different life. It's all up to you. But I know if that my sister knows you, and shares things that may seem incredible, you might want to listen. For now, she's my sister and we're going to have some lunch."<br /><br />It was great day. It was cool seeing P healthy, happy and living a life she wouldn't have otherwise ever had. Possibly the best part from my perspective is we'd stayed best of friends, the trauma and pain of our lives never cost us our relationship, or her - both of us - our lives. It was kinda cool. After lunch with my sister I had lunch (again) with Dillon and I encouraged him to take charge of his life. Rekindle his dream of acting. It was really nice. Got to spread the hope around some. Even shared with him the hit series he stared in, what it was about, some highlights, the whole nine yards.<br /><br />Dreams teach, but they also give us the chance to spread our wings and fly. Typically in Quantum Jumping, one finds out about their own life and how they can make it better, different. They get to share information about themselves. In this one, I was all at once me, and the alternate me that I'd been, was being in that part of time and space. I decided to stay a few days in town with my sister, it was time well spent.Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-35207176577053779692012-06-04T20:56:00.001-04:002012-06-04T20:56:17.900-04:00Two very different experiences...Today I went for my second eye exam this year. Mainly because it was required and free, and because to be honest I had issues with the last one.<br /><br />So let's take a short trip in the way back machine here shall we?<br /><br />In the first week of March I went for an eye exam at Lenscrafters. Mainly because that's where I've always gone over the years. The difference this time of course was the fact that I really needed to go because even I could tell my eyes weren't what they once were. In fact for me they were a dramatic change from what they used to be. Six years ago I had better than perfect eyes, and could see things at much greater distances than say the average person with 20/20 vision. That was then, this is now.<br />
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My exam at Lenscrafters honestly felt rushed. And while they did indeed have a pair of glasses ready in about an hour, and they did make a marked difference in what I could see, they weren't quite there. I'd gone in because my right eye was much changed, and frankly made driving uncomfortable. Thus my decision to have them checked. The rushed exam, and the single vision plain glasses that were better than my eyes, but still cost a small fortune and didn't have things like Transitions lenses, or nonglare/nonreflective coating, mainly because I couldn't afford them.<br /><br />This left me doing research into where else one could get glasses that didn't require taking out a loan. Especially given that the ones I got from Lenscrafters were on special just plain, that a single pair with the options I needed would be over $600. That's just crazy!<br />
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So I found my way to <a href="http://www.twopair.com/">America's Best</a> the home of two pair of glasses for $70 dollars if I just wanted plain glasses, and that includes an eye exam free. Today I went in for my exam and to pick out frames.<br /><br />Before I go further, it's also important for me to mention that men terrify me. Perhaps not as much as spiders or clowns, but I'd say they are still in the top five. In fact being that most clowns are guys, and often vice versa, I'd say they were tied. I'm sorry, that's just how I feel. Now the guy at Lenscrafters was cute, friendly and well behaved. But I felt rushed, and him calling out numbers and flipping settings on the machine like it was a race didn't much help.<br /><br />Today was very different. A male tech by the name of Mike got some of the preliminaries out of the way, and then he had me sit in the big chair and wait for the doctor. In comes Adrienne. Nice grey slacks, beautiful blouse, great shoes. Very well put together, looking calm, cool and professional. She was great, listened to my concerns, my experience with Lenscrafters, and really gave me an eye exam. Did a bunch of things the guy at Lenscrafters didn't do, confirmed that yes, the prescription from Lenscrafters would have helped, but not as much as it could, and additionally checked things that they didn't over at Lensecrafters, like for astigmatism, and that my eyes needed prism lenses, because they point inward toward each other. Took a bunch longer, and she said that for whatever reasons she couldn't get the right one corrected as well as the left, and had no idea why. Which is not to say that the correction we did settle on wasn't much better, because it was. I then went and picked out two pair of frames. One a pair that would go with anything, they didn't have a midnight blue, so I went with black metal, the others are much more expressive and fun. They are a bright pair that's a cross between purple and electric hot pink. Really lovely. So me. I mean I have clothes these are going to go well with, and accessorize the color scheme of my bike quite well. In fact, come to think of it, they are about the same color as the accents on my bike frame.<br /><br />With full coatings, including Transitions lenses, non glare, uv, extra scratch resistant, and a one year warranty for full replacement and the extra 15 dollars for eye health exam, all total 300 dollars instead of the 200 I paid for the basic bottom of the line pair at Lenscrafters on 50% sale. Since I returned the Lenscrafters ones, that 200 went to the two pair I got today. They don't do them in house in an hour, so I have to wait seven days for them to come in, but hey, that's okay by me.<br /><br />So Lenscrafters was rushed and didn't quite do me any favors while costing me 245 some odd dollars including the exam that was rushed. <a href="http://www.twopair.com/">America's Best</a>, was a much better eye exam that looked for things and took steps to find the right correction for me that was really going to work. And I left with two pair of glasses that will really work, and let me ride, automatically adjusting for light and the glare of on coming head lights, and corrects the astigmatism. I quite approve!<br />
<br />Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-90882681865160055112012-05-30T16:17:00.001-04:002012-05-30T16:17:50.449-04:00Women of a certain age . . .. . . have to deal with changes. It's a study in in impermanence, this whole ageing thing, really it is. Over the last year or so I've noticed that my once perfect, no, better than perfect, eyesight has moved toward the average for my age? It's particularly noticeable when cycling and driving. For the most part it's only really my non-dominant eye, and it's not significant, but enough to be annoying.<br /><br />So in March, after not having had an eye exam in six years, I went to Lenscrafters figuring I knew them and had always had my eyes checked there. Plus six years ago I dropped a big chunk of money on nonprescription sunglasses there. You know, scratch resistant, non glare, uv coated, transition lenses in a nice Ray Ban metal frame. So I thought if I was going to need a prescription, that I'd be able to get new lenses for the frames I already had. <br /><br />Had the eye exam done, and no big shock, my right eye needed correction just as I thought, the slight surprise was that my left eye could do with a very minor bit of correction too. So, that done I set about having new glasses made. After a song and a dance about how they couldn't really do anything with my existing frames I had to pick new ones. Strike one right there. I got measured, fitted, found nice frames that brought out my green eyes, and then got the price tag. One pair of glasses again was going to be several hundreds of dollars with the non glare, uv, scratch resistant, transition lenses. Damn!!! And that was with a 50% off sale that was going to be ending shortly. If I waited until I could afford the options I wanted, the sale would have been over and the price would have been close to seven hundred dollars for one pair of glasses. Double damn, so I settled on plain lenses in the frames and figured I'd have to get some clip on sunglasses for them or something like that. Strike TWO!!!<br /><br />An hour and $245 dollars later I had new glasses. The first pair of corrective lenses I've ever needed. Lovely. $210 for the glasses, $35 for the exam.<br /><br />Riding and driving were of course different, "better." Not having transitions lenses a real pain in the tush. Driving at night, quite the pain because of the reflections and glare of oncoming traffic. Sure, I could see "better" but there were some serious issues with just plain lenses. So I started looking at my options, online. You know, doing some serious research as I got used to having and wearing glasses. I also started to notice that while much improved, my right eye, was still not quite as good as my non corrected left eye. Corrected, my left eye was even better. So there was a distinct imbalance there that I thought shouldn't be. It became clear through March and April that we'd rushed my eye exam and that my right eye prescription still needed work. Damn! Triple Damn even. Strike THREE!!! <br /><br />My research last night culminated with finding multiple less expensive options for glasses including a place on line that would give, with a proper prescription, the first pair of glasses free for single vision plain lenses. FREE!!! For the options I want on the free pair, another $130 dollars. America's Best, two pair of single vision plain lenses starting at $69 with a free eye exam. So I drove over there today to look at frames and see if I'd be able to find anything I could live with, and to price the option I wanted. To get all everything I want, that I had on the non prescription glasses, a total of $280 dollars. For TWO pair. WITH a free eye exam. <br /><br />So today, while still within the 90 day return policy at Lenscrafters, I did just that. Returned the glasses and had the $210 dollars credited back to my account. Wednesday of next week, I'll head over to America's Best, have another eye exam, and place my order for two new sets of glasses with all the options. While at America's best today I looked at the selection of frames and found some wonderful looking ones, so that's not a concern. in fact one set of frames I picked out are Amethyst. Oh such a happy thing. So I'll get those, and another pair of midnight blue ones, and that way I'll have two pair of glasses, with all the coatings and transitions lenses. Mind you I don't spend that much time in the sun in general, but I do get some, and the transitions make a big difference. As does the non glare and UV coatings. Especially the non glare, which makes a big difference at night, and one doesn't have to experience distracting reflections from the lenses while doing other things even during the day.<br /><br />So yeah, as a woman of a certain age that now needs glasses, at least I'm not having to spend almost seven hundred dollars for a single pair that do what I want and need.<br /><br />Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.com0