Thursday, August 27, 2009

I just tripped over the double standard . . .

. . . and is my face red.

I'm a feminist. I always have been. Since I can remember I've been one, since I've known what a Feminist is I've been one. Because of my past, and my childhood, I was, for a good portion of my life accused of being a "Militant Radical Lesbian Feminist." [MRLF] I was even once heard to say that the moment women could control birth sex to select for females, and could reproduce without men involved, they (men) would die off in what might be the ultimate twist on Darwinism. I even went as far as saying that men should be kept in cages, well trained and on very short leashes anytime they were out of the cage.

Thankfully I've out grown that by a fairly significant degree.

Now, I have known women who rage against the "double standard" here in the United States specifically, how it is evil and needs to be completely removed. They are as ardent in their fervor as I used to be when I was still a MRLF. They rage against being objectified as sex objects, and while I used to stand with my sisters on this subject, today I found myself something of a hypocrite.

Yeah, a hypocrite. Me. And wow, was my face red.

Last night I was watching "Top Gun" because someone on line had mentioned it, and I realized I hadn't seen it in a long time. That kind of set me up for my realization today. I'm driving back from Staples where I picked up more 200 page college ruled comp books because I go through them so fast. As I'm driving along I saw a guy jogging towards me in black shorts and sneakers, so I slowed down to get a better look at him. I'll not lie, he was a good looking man. Just the right amount of hair strong, fit, well simply put, quite yummy. So as my heart and mind is fantasizing about being held by him, touched, kissed, how he'd feel, smell, taste, the alarm bells started ringing in my head.

In the United States if I jog down the street in nothing but shorts, I'm going to get arrested, and of course have every male around staring at my breasts. I can't tell you the number of times in my life I've bent my knees to meet some guy's eyes and say gently "Hi, I'm up here?" I don't feel like I have to be the perfect example of femininity to attract a guy, or have them look at me. I NEVER slave over makeup, and often just run a brush through my hair and keep it in a ponytail. I used to argue right along side other feminists that we shouldn't be objectified as sex objects with all the passion and conviction they do.

So of course when I face planted after tripping over a fine line known as the double standard I realized, there are some benefits to it women take for granted. Mind you I don't think it helps much that men simply LOVE it when we stare at them fantasizing about them. So when I realized I was doing what I'd often protested so loudly against Men doing to me I realized I was as guilty of supporting the "double standard" as any one.

"Top Gun" I've always said was kind of a perfect date movie. Fast cars, Motorcycles, JETS, dog fighting, competition and of course the guy getting the girl. For women we got all the eye candy of cute young Navy Pilots, including a volleyball match that was just gratuitous male bodies on parade and of course the strong female lead who caught one of those cute young fighter pilots letting him think he caught her. The scenes of the two of them finally coming together giving views of both genders a chance to dream about being one of the two. As someone who's bi, I could and did imagine being with either one of them.

Which of course just cemented in my head and heart what a hypocrite I was today. So yeah, my face was red. But it makes me wonder about all the fuss over repulsive objectification of women, yet it's okay for us to do it to men? What else in the "double standard" is similarly skewed I have to wonder?


alan said...

Our minds are powerless against hormones and/or biology I think at times; the difference is that in "knowing" we become responsible for our actions, inlike those who blame everyone else for theirs!

Au natural...the way to this many a heart!


Samantha said...

Yeah, knowing is of course what caused me to write the post and admit my transgression of that silly line that I wonder about sometimes.

As to me blaming everyone else, it's taken the better part of my life to date to styop blaming myself for everyone elses actions.

Worst example, two complete stranger bump into each other in the mall and I'd apologize to both of them, because somehow, by being there to see it, I must have caused it. Kind of like Heisenburg gone mad!

alan said...

I didn't mean you, dear, at all!

I meant those who blame the girl for the rape; the politician who blames the girl for the affair; the financier who blames the legal structure for his thievery...

I've never known you to blame anyone else for anything, even when you should have!

I still try to slay that guilt dragon on a daily basis; though I've whittled off a bit of it here and there it still rises to the occasion constantly.

Heisenburg I'll have to Google cough syrup's wearing off and I really need to eat something before I "melt down"...

I love you!