Predatory Commercialism and Feminism

Okay, let me start with a short disclaimer. I do not lack a sense of humor. I'm also not a "Militant, Radical, Lesbian, Feminist", anymore. Once upon a time, yes, now, not quite so much. Don't get me wrong I firmly believe in equal rights, but not at the expense of bashing men. Men are people too! I have some good friends who are men.

Okay, that said, I feel the media, and commercial marketing types, are getting a touch predatory about equal rights.

Predatory Commercialism is to my mind the use a specific concepts to find a lever into someone else's wallet when they might not otherwise be willing to spend money. Or to shroud something in market friendly phrases without really doing the concepts any justice. Home Despot for excample has recently launched a course, or courses called:

DIH! (Do it herself) Doh!

To "teach" women how to "do it yourself." So when did "Do it yourself" become not enough?

Then Pepsi has several new radio spots that just make me laugh my butt off everytime I hear them. The first one talks directly TO men, and ends with "Now you can look your cahonnes in the eye!" All about Pepsi Max, and diet Pepsi a man doesn't have to be embarassed to drink.

Excuse me, but when did drinking diet soda embarrase guys? I know plenty who drink it and don't have any problem with it. In fact, until I heard the commercial I never really thought anybody gave it much thought. I certainly didn't. But now we've got "PEPSI MAX" a Man's diet in the solid black can.

Not to let it go at that, I heard another Pepsi commercial talking about how women like to change our minds, constantly. So there are now multiple varieties of Pepsi with different flavorings added. Like Lime, Vanilla and Wild Cherry flavored Diet Pepsi so women can drink them and because we crave variety? It all smacks of the old comment about it being our prerogative to change our minds. But the commercial, like the one about Diet Pepsi Max being just for GUYS, made the whole thing feel cheap and sleazy to me. Especially since I know in this mass market, one size fits all push that retailers have, no-one's going to really carry the new stuff, leaving us all to stick with what we know. And of course, add flavor as we see fit. Like when I want a Cherry, Vanilla 7-Up! Oh, wait, that's neither cola, nor Pepsi. Which is honestly too sweet for me anyway. When I did still drink soda, and cola specifically, it was always Coke for me because it wasn't too sweet. I drank the diet, caffene free version, and that was hard enough to get, let alone diet, caffene free, wild cherry... Which you can bet they are NOT making.

Now, if you followed that all, there's a country song sung by Brad Paisely that I kid you not includes the line "It's hip now to be feminized!" He goes on to sing, "What can I say, at the end of the day, honey I'm still a guy!"

And a cute one you are Brad. But the whole song is about him not buying into the rampant feminization of men. Color me stupid, but I like my men to look like men, and women to look like women. This way I don't accidentally say something stupid and without meaning to, hurt someone's feelings.

Wow, yeah, me babbling I'm thinking...

Sorry.

Cost Benefit Analysis of being green.

Most grocery stores these days sell reusable shopping bags for a very low cost. One brings them back and reuses them and gets a couple cents discount on their purchase. So what does that mean? Mean's I just carry them back, and my groceries get put in there instead of those flimsy plastic bags that get thrown away and fill up landfills. So they are a buck. At three cents back per bag, per trip, go grocery shopping 34 times and the bag was free. Plus you've avoided 34 plastic bags in landfills. There's also the cost of making those bags, printing them, shipping them and then putting them out at registers. It's a win for everyone involved.

There are more things that one can do, like energy efficient light bulbs, keeping your car tuned up, the tires properly inflated and so much more. You save money, and save the world a couple of cetns as a time.

Your Narcissism Score is 0!

So I took another of those online tests, especially given the reading I've been doing of late, this one was about how much of a Narcissist I am.

Apparently I'm not. At all. Not even a little bit.

"According to Psychologists, the average narcissism score is 15.3 -- or 17.8 for celebrities.For more information, check out the article on Wikipedia."

This type, or general level of Narcissism is a measure of the healthy kind, not that found in Narcissistic Personality Disorder which is covered in a different article.

Why you may wonder did I bother to take the test, or look into the difference? I found another survivors web site and she talk about her abuser as having been suffering from NPD. We never got Earl seriously involved in the mental health world, in fact he fought tooth an nail to avoid it, so I don't have any formal diagnosis for him. However, in looking at what Laura has had to say, and reflecting on Earl's attitudes, behavior and history, I'd say there is an extremely high probability, almost a certainty, that he suffered from NPD.

So now I need to read more on NPDs, if for no other reason than to learn how not to make the same mistakes again. Given everything else I'm dealing with, I don't see having to worry about it for a long time, but I think in terms of healing it might help. I've been pretty certain both his parents, more so his Mom than his Dad, but still, they were both Sociopaths. Which as I'm coming to learn, is basically just another name for someone with NPD.

Sorry this was somewhat darker than my usual fare, it's just part of my life I guess.

Which Starship Captain are you?

Well it was amusing, but not really that surprising that I came up as Janeway. After all, she is my favorite of the Trek captains, and not even because she's a girl.

Your result for the Which Starship Captain Are You? test...

Don't you "Aunt Kathy" me!

18% Benjamin_Sisko, 50% Kathryn_Janeway, 4% Jean-Luc_Picard, 19% Johnathan_Archer, 14% William_Adama and 16% James_T_Kirk!

Kathryn Janeway was a fantastic captain. Despite the incompetent writers and producers that plagued much of Voyager's run with "the moral of the story is.." and other Disneylike family-friendly garbage, Janeway excelled in making command decisions and did extremely well with balancing herself on the thin line between aggression and tolerance. She was unique in that she was the only captain that provided a sort of mothership (bad pun) as well as a paternal role as well to her crew. Harry Kim practically called her mom on various occassions, though he was no match for Seven of Nine when it came to begging for attention.

Life, Love and Validation.

So since validation seems to be the theme of the week, I'll toss my two cents into the hat. I'd round up for inflation and cost of living, but it's not that big a deal at this stage in my life.

The local lake I regularly walk around, and boat on in the nicer weather is open again for the season. Well, the lake hasbeen open, but the boat house to rent boats and sell fishing supplies was open. So I stuck my head in to see if the rates were the same from last year (they are) and noticed something that just seemed so wrong. It was a fishing pole with a reel (spinner?) that had little flashing diodes as you wound it. I looked at the guy behind the desk and said is that for real, or just something to make you look? He got all animated and said, no they really come like that, here, look at this one and leads me over to a rack of them and hands me the electric hot pink one. It too sparkled and flashed when you spun it. He says to me "and look, it's pink, so that you'll easily be able to tell the difference between your's and your boyfriend's." Nice of him to assume I'd be fishing with a boyfriend I don't have right?

So I walked about a mile, laughing to myself that they make them in pink now too, and the way he just took it for granted I'd want the pink one. Sure, he assumed that I'd want the pink one, but I know some women who hate pink. Me, I don't fish, I don't eat them, I don't do the whole catch and release thing, but it might be nice to just sit there casting and slowly reeling it in. Well I can't say I don't eat fish like ever, cause truth to tell, a good tuna or salmon roll is better than a fillet sometimes, and of course throw some on the grill and crumble it in a salad, oh yum! As to the act of fishing, truth to tell, it's a trick I picked up from a certain Air Force General. He loves the relaxation of fishing, without there being any pesky fish in his pond.

Sitting here, I slipped into a bit of a fun earlier. When I was talking to my sister I said I was feeling a bit of a funk and she said "Cold or Blue?" I said "Cobalt, maybe even midnight blue!" I always get extra down during the spring, I don't know why, but it's not usually my favorite season. Fall is the one for me, especially in New England. Oddly enough not even because of the famous fall colors. When you grow up and live in New England for as long as I did, the color is, well, pretty and all that, but there is this quality to the air I simply adore! Yes, I'm strange, I love the smell of a New England fall more than the colors.

So while I was in my funk, I was thinking of one of my favorite quotes from Camus:

"A loveless world is a dead world, and always there comes an hour when one is weary of prisons, of one’s work, and of devotion to duty, and all one craves for is a loved face, the warmth and wonder of a loving heart."
— Albert Camus

That speaks to me on so many levels, especially on the note having someone special in my life. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and friends, but sometimes not having anyone to go walking with, hanging out with, someone watching my six, while I watch his, gets old. As bad as he was for me in so many ways, I miss Earl. So yeah, I'm steaming along, fighting the good fight so to speak, but sometimes being alone sucks. I still talk to Earl, but it's not the same as a hand to hold while walking, not the same as having someone to wrap their arms around me and hold me. I know one day, when I've healed some, and can start looking at sharing my life with someone again, I won't be so alone. In the meantime, being a widow just sucks sometimes. So me, I'm feeling weary...

At least I'm not Woolly right? You know, what Tim Robbins was singing about in Bull Durham? "When women get woolly . . ." Geeze, I mean really, I shave what little hair I have on my legs. But Woolly?

So one last question to the blogosphere? Has anyone hear from Sara at Sara's Navel? I don't have her email adess and it seems like her blog is gone. It's been four months since she posted last (not that I'm keeping score) but I'm hoping she's okay! He, cool, I got to use blogosphere in a sentence! Never imagined I'd do that!

Missing the point in favor of defending a position.

Near as I can figure, a friend of mine, who recently pitched a fit, entirerly missed the point of my last email. I've noticed that her political views and mine don't mesh. That's okay, since 99% of the time mine don't mesh with me either. Anyway last night she sent me a whole batch of bash Obama bumper stickers, and I asked her to take me off the list for those.

She replied with a venomous diatribe about the evils of liberals and how it was okay for them tobash Bush, but now that the shoe was on the other foot, hated the Obama attacks. Acussed me of some horrible things, and swore not only not to mail me this stuff again, but that she'd never email me again at all. That I shouldn't bother to reply because she wouldn't read it.

Wow. Harsh, reactionary and even violent. All because I tried to point out that I was intentionally NOT bashing anyone! Ferdryinoutloud already I'm a Buddhist, it's not in my view of the 'Verse to go about launching negative energy hither and yon. I don't care what someone labels themselves or each other, but draw the line at having them force their views, especially really negative ones down my throat. I'm neither liberal, nor conservative, Republican or Democrat, and I'm tired of the constantly shifting blame game.

I don't care whose doing it, talking trash about politics and how dark everything looks only begets more of the same. Why make things worse?!? Right now I'm focusing on healing and growth, and NOT welcoming more trump and pain into my life.

Frankly the entire US socio-political-economic system is in deep trouble and needs healing and growth. I don't care who did what to whom, why, or what you call it. Stop focusing on blame and work together on fixing it! If you don't have anything good or constructive to say, then please, by all means keep your own counsel and let folks work in peace.

All the political parties and vitriol labeled as "free speech" is just more lies covering violence with the Constitution. I don't want or need to hear it. As my father used to say, "don't go away mad, just go away" cause I don't want to play. Or as Sandra Bullock said in Demolition Man "Can we just dump some hormones!"

Don't be bashing anyone around me, regardless of who, what, or why. Life is hard enough at times without bringing more suffering by causing others pain with "Free Speech" because it's anything but!

Now for something lighter redux.

My friends enrich my life in so many ways. Recently while browsing photos one of my friends had put up on Facebook I instantly thought of another. Since it seems she left Facebook, although I'm not sure, they have been messing with Facebook of late in some major ways, so they could have lost her. Anyway, this is Princess Vicky Jo as she was captured by Vader and some Storm Troopers.


So seeing this picture I thought of Ange of course. Since I couldn't share it with Ange on Facebook, Vicky Jo said it was okay for me to post it here. It's a great picture and shows what a great sport Vicky Jo is, her innate sense of fun.

Clean everything!

Okay, I'm about to head off to the land of nod, but I just thought I'd wallow in the anticipation a touch longer. Clean Samantha, inside and out, fresh clean sheets, a cup of tea, some lavender incense burning and candle light has my whole bedroom set in just the right mood. For the moment, all is right at Casa Samantha, who knows, maybe a glass of wine and I'm good. Setting the mood isn't just for romance, it's for even something as simple as sleeping.

So Good Night Wide Wonderful World where ever you are!

Sam

Friday the 13th.

I had a wonderful day. There's only 20 minutes left in the day, but I'm pretty certain the rest of it is going to be fine. I had a somewhat busy, but laid back day. My mailbox contained a 90 day supply of all my meds, so I don't have to worry about those for a while, and I saved myself 50 dollars a month for the next 3 months. Woot! I decided I'd go find the local Drive-in restaurant and have myself a Black & White shake, and I went shopping briefly for a new fan to put in my bedroom, otherwise a fine day not doing much of anything.

Probably the most amusing thing of note was with the batch of meds that came in today I'm officially back on Spironalactone. Yup, three years post-op and I'm back on a blocker. Why? Because my body is still making more Testosterone than my body is okay with. My blood pressure is up, my hair and nails are coming apart, and I'm starting to have a little bit of a problem with acne again. So, back on the blocker. Meanwhile I know post-op women who have to take testosterone because their bodies don't make enough, or any. Me I've alwasy been terribly sensitive to it, mind you my levels are in the middle of the female normal range, but that's just a bit more than my body is happy with.

So that's my Friday the thirteenth. Utterly uneventful, just how I like them.

Tomorrow I spend a few hours babysitting my namesake while my sister goes to a Gordon Lightfoot concert, and then we do the whole dinner and movie, plus a bunch of wine, just hanging out. So, I think I'm going to go jump in the shower so my hair will be dry and clean come the morning, have a cup of tea, and head off to the land of nod. Yes, I'm going to bed with my hair wet. Horrors! Actually for me it's never a problem. Put it up in a pony tail and blow it out in the morning and I'm fine.

I love Zilla!

Zilla comes out with things like this recent gem as part of a comment on Ange's blog.

'. . . pray like hell that they're inherently lazy, like American teenagers who don't understand why there isn't a smiling drive-thru attendant inside of the refrigerator. "Got milk!! Want fries with that?"'

Is that gold or what? Her Blog is frequently every bit as lucid, well written and funny. If you haven't been to her blog or Ange's for that matter, what are you waiting for? I mean they both write so well they should be charging for it! Their writing, regardless of the subject, is so often just utterly brilliant. They have indeed found their respective voices because regardless the topic, the way they write alone is wonderful beyond mere words can do justice.