Saturday, May 21, 2005

So I really think I need to spend more time here . . .

I couldn't take it anymore, I just lost it, and checked into the local ER because I couldn't stop crying. I was done, over, finished, couldn't take any more pain, shouldn't have to, and knew that if I didn't do something positive RIGHT THEN and there, I wouldn't live to see the weekend. The scariest part of it all is being a TS Woman had NOTHING to do with it.

I really don't think of myself as a TS or TG anything. I'm a woman, I am trying to have some kind of life and I cannot handle all the expectations that folks keep throwing on me. My ex has taken EVERYTHING, and still people expect things, money, etc from me. When I say NO; I get abuse.

When I ask for help on the other hand the entire damn world is more than happy to tell ME know and when, IF I ask why; I get abuse.

So I was done, I was going home because it just isn't worth it, I have enough pain in my life to start with without people giving me more. Life post-ascension ins't all clouds and angles, BUT it isn't this insufferably STUPID and there are checks and balances in place and REAL FREE WILL . . .

Thank God and Godess for the folks at the hospital, they saved my life!

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