So I took another of those online tests, especially given the reading I've been doing of late, this one was about how much of a Narcissist I am.
Apparently I'm not. At all. Not even a little bit.
"According to Psychologists, the average narcissism score is 15.3 -- or 17.8 for celebrities.For more information, check out the article on Wikipedia."
This type, or general level of Narcissism is a measure of the healthy kind, not that found in Narcissistic Personality Disorder which is covered in a different article.
Why you may wonder did I bother to take the test, or look into the difference? I found another survivors web site and she talk about her abuser as having been suffering from NPD. We never got Earl seriously involved in the mental health world, in fact he fought tooth an nail to avoid it, so I don't have any formal diagnosis for him. However, in looking at what Laura has had to say, and reflecting on Earl's attitudes, behavior and history, I'd say there is an extremely high probability, almost a certainty, that he suffered from NPD.
So now I need to read more on NPDs, if for no other reason than to learn how not to make the same mistakes again. Given everything else I'm dealing with, I don't see having to worry about it for a long time, but I think in terms of healing it might help. I've been pretty certain both his parents, more so his Mom than his Dad, but still, they were both Sociopaths. Which as I'm coming to learn, is basically just another name for someone with NPD.
Sorry this was somewhat darker than my usual fare, it's just part of my life I guess.
Forewarned and forearmed! Sounds like a good plan to me!
ReplyDeleteThank you for having the courage to figure it out, I'm not sure I would...
alan
I kinda don't really have a choice about figuring it out. Because if I don't learn and grow, I'll make the same mistakes again. Very nearly killed me the last time, I don't think I have it in me to handle that again. Since I'm not done living, and I have no interest in more unnecessary pain, so I'm investing in myself to avoid it by learning.
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