tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post5526686696582041345..comments2022-11-21T03:50:05.720-05:00Comments on What a long strange trip it is!: I am not amused . . .Samantha Shantihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10586759980410037672noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-64279550218889831642010-08-09T20:40:58.937-04:002010-08-09T20:40:58.937-04:00Well I'm more frustrated at the sleep issue, o...Well I'm more frustrated at the sleep issue, okay, more than frustrated, it's starting to push on the depression. And that's not healthy. Plus there is the medical fact now given the amount of exercise and fuel I'm not taking in, and the BP to name a few, that I unquestionably have a medical condition that I'm getting the feeling they (doctors) are not only not taking seriously, but are not even capable of taking seriously. Or that if and when they do start taking it seriously, I'm not going to be able to afford the treatment(s) for. Which makes the anxiety worse, which makes the depression worse, which makes the insomnia worse, which makes the weight worse, which makes the condition worse... Vicious cycle. Very vicious cycle!<br /><br />And of course this does very little to help with the PTSD, one of the primary triggers for is that people who are supposed to be helping me cannot or will not for whatever stupid reasons. It's the whole the world wants way, way more out of me than it's ever going to give back. Mind it's not about score for me, but balance. And eternally wanting a balance that seems never to be in the offing is more than just unfraking fair, but cruel and unusual punishment for something I didn't do.<br /><br />I've always been the good girl, the quite girl, the girl next door who WANTS (wanted) children, a family, a house, a home, just a bit of love, stability, and who has never been afraid of hard work or doing her share because it was the right thing to do.<br /><br />As Laura is wont to say, all this is pushing against my pain body and it's going "YEAH BABY, HURT ME SOME MORE!!!"Samantha Shantihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02261974014782795456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-68857839419603921762010-08-09T12:03:35.325-04:002010-08-09T12:03:35.325-04:00You are definitely not being a slacker! Dunno what...You are definitely not being a slacker! Dunno what to say about not getting the results you expect though. I think Caroline is right that you're still on the right track. Hope you can get the sleep thing solved!VĂ©ro Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02895169022031921712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8347251.post-32779805795270403322010-08-09T02:50:26.313-04:002010-08-09T02:50:26.313-04:00Weight is one thing but like me you have probably ...Weight is one thing but like me you have probably had a change of fat to muscle ratio, me one way as I start my hrt and you the other as you build " heavy, dense" muscle. Do you look and feel different?<br /><br />Wee used to have occasional tv programmes under the title "Fat man on a bicycle", all the cycling did little to change him into thin man on a bicycle. Our bodies are too darn clever at changing food into energy or fat.<br /><br /> This is a long term project and I think you are going the right way, hang in there and enjoy.Carolinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02133031265351841626noreply@blogger.com